*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*
please do not be mean to dogs they are only trying to help
my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night
"Call 1-800-steemer. Stanley Steemer gets carpets cleaner!"
when ur tryin to tell a story but people talk over you
*hears child crying* *takes birth control*